Staying Authentic Amidst Big Moves: What Rilke Can Teach Us About Navigating Change
There’s a particular groundlessness that arises when we are standing at the frontier of change.
In the last three months I have packed up my life, said goodbye to friends and rivers, moved, and started make this new place feel like home.
Are you contemplating a change in your life? Perhaps you are about to take a leap in your career, relationship or authentic self-expression. If you are anything like me, the first impulse is to “keep it moving!”
Slowing down, being reflective, feels like death amidst the chaos.
For myself and the countless women I have worked with facing transitions, Rilke’s poem “Let This Darkness Be A Bell Tower,” meets us in our frightened fussing and speaks directly to our hearts. Reminds us to slow down and move with the change.
The Power of Pausing
Especially as women, we can so quickly turn on ourselves. Rilke suggests we start instead by greeting ourselves gently, as a “Quiet friend...”
What tenderness can enter when we adress ourselves compassionately?
Next, we must remember just how far we have come.
“Quiet friend,
who has come so far.”
When I was deep in the throes of anxiety about leaving my home, I would remember that I had travellend long distances to start again before. That I knew how to do this, and could do it again.
Then, amidst any illusions of urgency, the poet asks us to mindfully refocus on our breath.
“feel how your breathing makes more space around you”
Just one full breath can be enough to interrupt our fight and flight response. Reconnecting us the part of us that is unchanged by all the changes.
Choosing Yourself
The beauty of poetry lies in its ability to give voice to the unspeakable. How can we build up our own poetic sensibility to authentically naviagte our lives biggest changes? When I work with women navigating life's migrations, we often start with simply acknowledging the complexity of change with reflective writing prompts.
This particular writing prompt emerged from the need to be with ourselves as a friend:
Take 2-5 minutes to adress yourself as a friend going through a big change.
write what you need to hear,
write what you might need to remember,
write any words of encouragement or solace,
Read what you have written to yourself out loud. Take in the depth of compassionate wisdom you have within.
Finding Your Rhythm in Uncertainty
Essentially, Rilke reminds us that the beauty of life lies in allowing what challenges us to change us.
“what batters you becomes your strength,
move back and forth into the change.”
A powerful reminder to trust ourselves as we move with what is moving us.
“In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.”
We can move to a new city and not have moved from our old home unless we are able to continually cycle back and forth between what was, what is and what could be. Change is never the triumphant march forward depicted in movies. It is slow, cyclical work. Most of which happens within us, long before anyone outside of us can tell the difference.
We have to be open to the mystery of the betwixt and between that is a transition. Unafraid of being open to the newness of what is to come, while staying loyal to the parts of us we want to keep, we can be ourselves more authentically than ever before. As Rilke promises- there is “meaning discovered there.”
Your Invitation
Change doesn't have to be faced alone. In Our Poetry Projects 6-week online course “Writing Through Transitions” space is created for both reflection and connection in our unique community of women facing significant personal and professional change.
We look to poetry as a lens through which to view our personal journeys as women facing life's trials and triumphs. With deeply affecting reflective writing prompts and meaningful discussions we find words for the experiences that shape us.
Learn more here.
About the Author:
Suzy Willow is an experienced Poetry Therapy practitioner and facilitator specialising in supporting professional women through life transitions. Through individual guidance and group sessions, she helps women find their voice and vision during periods of change.